Hanna Cooper

Starfish, Revisited

My most popular post, based on what types of searches bring new people to this blog, is one I wrote when I just started this site, over four years ago, referencing the Starfish story. 

(If you don't know it, the gist of the original story is that one person can make a difference through their seemingly small actions.  My own take on this in my blog post was: yes, and, how can we still look for points of leverage to make impact on a larger scale?)

Of all the posts I've written over the past 4 1/2 years, what makes this post so popular, I've wondered?  What are people looking for when they Google "starfish story" and wind up here?

To me, it seems that there is a hunger for meaning and purpose in our world.  Economic downturn, global warming, ethnic violence, or war: it can all feel overwhelming and out of any individual's control.  How can I, Joe Schmo, impact any of these trends?  I see many people alternating between apathy, overwhelm and a sense of victimization as they consider what they can do.

Without downplaying what is true or real about these seemingly daunting issues -- the economy is down, the seas are warming, people are killing each other -- I think that we, individually and collectively, have more impact that we think.  We have more individual and collective power than we could possibly imagine. 

To quote Marianne Williamson: 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

She goes on:

"There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do... It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

My sense from this quote, and the yearning for the messages of the Starfish story, is that it is time -- high time -- for us to individually and collectively wake up from our fears, our dream state of inadequacy, powerlessness and smallness, and harness our birthright of power and impact.  

The starfish, the oceans, the children, me -- we all need you to do so.

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How does the Starfish story speak to you?

How will you step further into your light, your power, your purpose, your liberation from fear, today?

Choose your view

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way." -- Charles Dickens

Is this the darkest era of our society, or a time of unlimited possibility?  Is the US economy dying or merely "right-sizing"? 

More than just simply labeling these viewpoints as "optimistic" or "pessimistic", it's important to notice that how we choose to look at situations changes our outcomes. 

I'm reminded of the fable of the blind men and the elephant.  A story originally from India, the core of the tale is of a group of blind men encountering an elephant for the first time.

Each blind man touches a different part, but only one part, such as the side or the tusk. They then compare notes on what they felt -- "an elephant is a wall!" "no, no, an elephant is like a sharp spear!" --  and learn they are in complete disagreement as to what an elephant is.  

"Reality" and "truth" vary depending upon our perspective, meaning that what can seem like an absolute truth is actually quite subjective based on what data we choose to use to gather and create our hypothesis.  Our beliefs in turn drive our actions.

Whether you are faced with diminishing resources within your organization, a lay-off, or a serious illness, is a door opening or closing?  How you choose to look at and respond to the situation -- as an opportunity to reorganize, reinvent, or reprioritize -- is up to you.

As Emerson says, "This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it."

What perspective(s) will you choose today? 
How does your perspective influence the actions you take?

I Heart My Job

I love my job.  I really do.  People call me on the phone to figure out what they really want to be when they grow up.  How cool is that?

I sometimes feel like I need someone to pinch me: do I really get to do this work?  (Yes, Virginia, there apparently is a Santa Claus, and it's called Living Your Purpose.)

One of the best things about the work I get to do is connecting with people, from all walks of life, with their own unique set of dreams and goals, but who somehow sense there is something more for them out there. 

Whether it's in a training I'm conducting, during a sample coaching session, or out in my personal life, hearing how people are living their own purpose, regardless of the words, and however it's expressed (from how they raise their kids to creating new and innovative programs) inspires me to continue on my own purposeful path.   It's a cool dynamic loop for me.

So, I guess that it's not only that I love my job, but also that I am awed, inspired, and yes, love, the people I meet and sometimes work with.

For me, it couldn't get much better than that.

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What do you love about what you do?

How is what you do related to your sense of purpose?

Renewing

Renewing, verb: 

1. To become new again.
2. To start over.

For many people, January is the month of renewal.  To start over, to renew our commitment, to focus on possibility.

It's refreshing for many of us, to feel like we have a clean slate, that all possibilities are open to us.  We feel open and revitalized to what we can create.

This is a feeling we all yearn for, regularly, regardless of the date on the calendar, this sense of hope and optimism about what is possible. To me, this sense represents part of the best of the human spirit.

Beyond our own personal journeys, I think our communities and organizations also yearn for a sense of renewal and possibility, particularly given the current economic situation and the challenges that exist both locally, nationally and globally. 

And so, regardless of your politics, that's why I'm inspired by President-elect Obama's suggestion that Americans take the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday (Monday, January 19) as a day of service, as a way of both honoring the slain hero, and as a means of renewing our country through a new spirit of service. 

It's a great opportunity to take this sense of renewal and possibility out beyond ourselves, and renew on a broader level.  When we act on our most deeply held values, we bring ourselves and our world closer into alignment with our vision of what we want to create.  How cool is that? 

You can sign up to attend or host an event in your community here.  I hope you'll join me in finding a way to act out your own personal way of making a difference, this Monday.
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How are you renewing, daily?
What are you hungry to create?

Making a Difference - 2008 Style

Someone I spoke with recently asked, "How do you know you've made a difference with your coaching clients?"

Wow, great question!

Since I don't measure 'accomplishment' or 'progress' of my clients with pre-post tests or use a client satisfaction survey, I can't give numbers or percentages; instead I know from what my clients report throughout the coaching process, as well as my own intuition. 

Feedback from clients and my overall sense is that the changes clients experience are meaningful but can be subtle.  Or they're meaningful and decidedly not subtle: career shifts, whole new perspectives embodied, stepping up grandly to a new level in life.  It's always up to the client and their goals.

So, what change and difference do you want to impact this year?  Taking a stance with and for you, here is what I want for you, my dear readers:

Change that is meaningful - whether subtle or radical.
That aligns with your values.
That opens up a new world (or two) for you.
That brings you even more into service and relationship with your greater purpose.

That's my challenge to you - will you take it on?  Let me know.

Life as experiment

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

        - Emerson

One of the stories that my family likes to tell on me is when my mother found my three year old self in the bathroom, making soup/mess/goo from soap, shaving cream, toothpaste and water in the sink.  When asked what I was up to, I replied:  "Look, Mommy!  I makee sper-e-ment!"  (My Dad was a scientist, who often spent time "makee sper-e-ment" in his lab at the university, so no big surprise at where this idea might have come from!)

Later on, as a college student, teaching science to elementary school aged camp kids one summer, I quickly found that all children are really natural scientists:  why is the sky blue?  what happens to the sun when it goes down?  why is it summer?  Great questions!

In my young working life as a scientist (and as a human being), I later learned (often painfully) that the greatest insights and breakthroughs came through a "failed" experiment - that is, learning through trying something that it didn't work as I thought it might.

I notice, though, that something seems to happen to many of us on our way to becoming a "grown-up" - we stop asking questions, and often we stop experimenting.  We fear "failing", looking "dumb", not "knowing".

The cost to not experimenting may not initially appear great - in fact, it may seem easier to follow the hypothesis we feel more sure about.  We are often rewarded - in school, at work, in our families  - for knowing "the answer".

But I also notice what we lose in stopping that experimentation process - the wonder, the possibility, the novelty, and learning.

So, my challenge to you this week is:  experiment!  What do you have to lose?

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What experiment are you longing to run?
What would you gain by experimenting more?

Celebrate with me!

One more thing to let you in on: I am now officially a certified professional coach!

I received notice this week that I'd passed the oral coaching exam I took in December - the final step, after over 300 hours of coaching specific training and assignments, over 100 hours with clients, 9 coaching supervisions, and a written exam, toward becoming certified as a professional coach.  I am now officially a Certified Professional Co-active Coach (CPCC).  Hurrah!!

While I celebrated the night after the exam with my husband and friends - for whether or not I passed, I knew just getting to and taking the oral exam was an accomplishment to be acknowledged - I'm celebrating all over again, and invite you to join in!

This completion was 6 years in concept, 2.5 years in training and practice, and 9 months in certification - the longest gestation of an idea I've ever had!  For me, this metaphor of birth, renewal, regeneration, is apt, for the growth for me has been exponential and substantial.  Life changing doesn't really begin to describe it.

I believe in the work I do as a coach because I've experienced the power and the results myself in being coached.  I know what a difference it has made in my ability to do what I need to do as a person and as a professional, and I want that some impact for individuals, systems and organizations who have a greater mission.

For those of you who have accompanied me on this journey, thank you for your support and encouragement.  I wouldn't be at this place without you.  It's been an amazing process, and I am antsy for what will come next.

So, please join me in raising a glass of your favorite to this accomplishment, and to all of you and yours!

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What do you want to celebrate in your life?  When and how will you do it?

Giving Your Gifts

When I give, I give myself.  -- Walt Whitman, Leaves of  Grass

In preparation for this past holiday season, as a way of honoring my values of integrity, stewardship and serenity, I chose to focus on how to give the gift of myself to my family and friends.

The result?  Less stress, more fun, cleaner teeth (just kidding on that last one!).  Focusing on how and who I wanted to be and the aligning actions really changed how I looked at this past holiday season.

And, it got me thinking:  how can I do this year 'round?  What would be the impact of fully giving myself and my gifts, no holds-barred?

You know where I'm going with this, don't you?

What are the gifts the world needs to receive from you?  Please don't make us wait another year to open them.

The Year of...

At this time of the year, we are so often in a rush - here, there, everywhere. 

As each of us look to closing out 2006, and welcoming 2007, an opportunity exists to pause to acknowledge and celebrate the year that is ending, as well as to be intentional about what we want to create in the coming year.

Instead of resolutions - or "re-solving" an issue in your life - for the new year, what if you began the process now of creating your 2007?

If this sparks some curiosity in you, try this out:

1)  On one piece of paper, write down all your disappointments, failures and breakdowns that happened in 2006.

2)  On a second piece of paper, write down all your successes, wins and breakthroughs that happened in 2006.

3)  On a third  piece of paper, write down what lessons you want to bring forward into 2007.  What do you want to intentionally carry with you?

4)  Tear up or burn the first two pieces of paper.

5)  Now, imagine it's a year from now.  What are your successes, wins and breakthroughs that happened in 2007?  Write these down specifically, and as though they have already happened or happen routinely:  "I am getting paid well for doing my life's work."

6)  Name this coming year like it was the title of a movie: e.g., The Year of.... Living Dangerously.   The Year of No Kidding Around.  The Year of Me.

7) As you start your 2007, regularly check in with your list of successes, and your year's title.  What do you need to put into place to make your vision a reality?

Have fun with this, and feel free to post your experiences with trying this out!

Retreating

A few weeks ago, I took a retreat.  For me, that meant 24 hours away from family, phone, email, responsibilities.  Someone else cooked healthy meals for me.  I read.  I walked.  I slept. I was silent. I meditated.  Like a warm bath on sore muscles, it soothed and relaxed me deeply.

I'd been wanting this quiet time to myself for months, but eventually I just had to claim the time: I'm going, and I'm going now, I told my family.

While at a community meal, I met a group of 4 women who schedule time together at this retreat center every year.   What started as a weekend away seven years ago has grown to 4 or 5 days for them to be together, and alone, in a beautiful setting.

I loved what they are doing; and it can be difficult to take 4 or 5 days, or even 24 hours, to rejuvenate.  Sometimes all we have is a few minutes.  Sometimes it's all we can do to just notice the in-breath we take.

A fellow coach is holding a virtual retreat next week: a half-hour of guided meditation every day by phone.  It's a cool idea: a chance, as she says, to get away from it all without having to go anywhere. It's also a reminder that retreat doesn't have to be at some remote location; you can find peace and stillness even here and now in the midst of your busy life. 

Especially at this very busy time of the year, taking a break - giving ourselves a break! - can be the very best gift we can give to ourselves and others.  Rather than waiting for the 'perfect' time, the convenient time, off into the future, to take your ideal version of a break, what could you do today?

What part of you needs a break?
What will you do right now to rejuvenate yourself?

p.s.  And, if taking a meditation retreat is on your short list, I can heartily recommend Sylvia Boorstein's Don't Just Do Something, Sit There as an easily accessible do-it-yourself guide.