Making A Difference

A Powerful Triad for Change

How do we make meaningful and sustained change in our lives?  As someone who started her career as a public health educator, I've been curious about this topic for a long time.

While the kind of health education that I've been involved with has had more to do with policy changes and community organizing than with counseling individuals what or how to eat, exercise or stop smoking, I've been drawn to finding a balance between impacting change both through big-picture policy issues as well as through supporting the change efforts of individuals throughout my various career paths.

In her insightful book, When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair, Geneen Roth spells out her formula, as such, for making and sustaining long-lasting individual behavior change:

1. Kindness to yourself
2. Curiosity about what you do
3. Willingness to act on your own behalf

While Roth is talking about addressing issues of emotional eating, I think she's on target for really any issue that someone wants to change in their life:  cultivating loving-kindness towards one's self and the thing you want to change about yourself; being curious, rather than judgmental, about what you notice about your behavior; and willingness to take meaningful action in a way that serves you.

It's the combination of these three elements that is so powerful, I think.  Any one of these elements alone would likely be insufficient.  As I say to new and prospective coaching clients, it's the paired balance of insight and action that we aim for in coaching: insight with no action is just an interesting conversation; action with no insight is a list of checked off to-do items.

Regardless of what issues you are looking to impact in 2007 - personally or professionally - how would a combination of more kindness, more curiosity, and a willingness to act help you move forward and make a difference?

Beyond Z

With a toddler and a preschooler in my family, I thought I was well versed in all things Seuss.  Hop on Pop?  Sure.  Green Eggs and Ham?  Of course.

But one that hadn't been part of my childhood bedtime story routine, On Beyond Zebra, has recently joined our household, and has got some real gems in it.

Speaking to young Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell, who is sure that now that he has learned the alphabet A to Z that he must know "everything anyone knows", the narrator of the story encourages him to go "beyond Z":

"In the places I go there are things that I see
That I never could spell if I stopped with the Z
I'm telling you this 'cause you're one of my friends.
My alphabet starts where your alphabet ends!

... You'll be sort of surprised what there is to be found
Once you go beyond Z and start poking around!"

Teaching young Conrad Cornelius about new letters such as Yuzz, Wum and Humpf, the narrator continues:

"When you go beyond Zebra,
Who knows...?
There's no telling
What wonderful things
You might find yourself spelling!"

The narrator continues with dear Conrad through many lands with many fantastic creatures, continuing:

"So you see!
There's no end
To the things you might know
Depending how far beyond Zebra you go!

...The places I took him!
I tried hard to tell
Young Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell
A few brand-new wonderful words he might spell.
I led him around and I tried hard to show
There are things beyond Z that most people don't know.
I took him past Zebra.  As far as I could.
And I think, perhaps maybe I did him some good...

Because, finally, he said:
'This is really great stuff!
And I guess the old alphabet
ISN'T enough!'"

This story of course reminds me of many lessons in my own life, and part of what draws me to coaching: what's possible when you have a shift in perspective on something that's seemed fixed, permanent, know-able, stuck or immutable. 

Like where the alphabet ends.  Maybe it doesn't end at Z.  What's after Z?

Beyond z... my curiosity leads me here: 

What's "beyond Z" for you?

What could you find there?

What old alphabet are you using?

Blink

I'm only 26 pages into Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell, but I already know it's a great book.

Which is actually the point of the book.

I don't usually do this, recommend a book I haven't finished yet, but writing this post makes the 4th time today I've referenced this book.  The examples from what I've read in this book so far have applied in three different conversations today.  And I'm only on page 26.

Gladwell's thesis (and remember, I'm only on page 26, so I could be off here) is that our intuitive senses often provide better sources of data than we usually credit them for. 

Remember being told as a child not to make snap judgments?  Gladwell's perspective instead says that we actually don't always make our best decisions by gathering more data or endlessly deliberating them.  Instead, by improving our abilities to sort out the variables that do matter in a decision, we can make better decisions faster.

So, my "thin-slice" review of this book, from page 26, is: read it.

Finding Our Way

Sometimes when I read something, I have the sense that I've come home.  The writing is new, fresh, and intriguing, and at the same time familiar and intuitive.  It's that way for me with Meg Wheatley's latest book, Finding Our Way: Leadership for an Uncertain Time. 

A series of essays collected under headings such as "Organizing: There is a Simpler Way", "Leadership: We Make the Road by Walking", and "Obstacles: Where the Road Gets Hard", the first two-thirds of the book first introduces and then elaborates on Wheatley's thesis that change best and most effectively occurs - in organizations, in systems, in life - by embracing natural humanistic forces of networks and relationships rather than hierarchical control systems.  Rather than re-engineering faulty programs, organizations or systems as if they were simple machines with interchangeable parts, substituting fixes that are external to the system, Wheatley instead promotes a "new story" where creativity and relationships are the means by which teams or systems can self-organize.

If this sounds too "out there" or touchy-feely, stick with me here.  For Wheatley's premise and examples are grounded in reality, experience and common-sense, not in high-on-a-mountain-top-guru or organizational-development-consultant-speak.

Coming attractions

I love to read.  I have friends who wonder how I ever have time to read, working and being the parent of small children.  But like anything else in life, if I want to do something I have to make time for it.

This month I'm making time for Rosa Say's love affair with books.  It's the total win-win for readers: if I can't get to the books themselves, I'm going to get great reviews and suggestions to fill out my "to-read" list.  I'm contributing a piece, and can't wait for the other recommendations that will come out this Friday.

Not that I really need more books to read.  I had a hard time enough time choosing which book I wanted to dive into for Rosa's book party: the ones I list here on my blog's side bar, all important ones to me; or one of the ones on my book shelf that I really want to read but haven't dived into yet.  It's a great unfinished task: there will always be more books to read than I can get to.

Come back Wednesday to check out my thoughts on Meg Wheatley's Finding Our Way: Leadership for an Uncertain Time.  I've wanted to read her work for a long time, and this book of essays has lit some new fires for me.  I'm percolating on it now, and look forward to a great dialog with you!

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How do books contribute to your making a difference?

What books have made a difference to you?